I’m sure that everyone who is reading this article has been in a car accident. Car accidents are one of the most sudden and violent moments that can happen to a human being. After sitting through Magic Mike XXL, I was left with that same feeling like I had been in a car accident. This was a first for me because for as long as I have been a film critic, I don’t think I have ever seen such a confluence of terrible choices being made in one single movie. I was witness to my first ever cinematic accident. I can already hear the ladies shouting at me, “You didn’t like it because you are guy and you don’t even come close to sheer hotness of Channing Tatum.” I agree with you that I am nowhere near as hot as Channing Tatum ( most men aren’t) and I will never even come even close (maybe I’ll one day be mistaken for an adorable George Wendt but that’s about as good as it will get for me).However, If you are looking for a movie that is – unfunny, has a confusing premise, has terrible acting, and leaves you with a sense of feeling like you were violated economically then Magic Mike XXL is the movie for you.
The movie takes place 3 years after Magic Mike Lane’s (Channing Tatum) retirement from stripping. In the beginning of the movie you already get the sense that Mike misses the sheer excitement of being on stage. They demonstrate this by working in a dance number right in the middle of Mike working on a hard piece of metal. You know, just like most metal workers do. Opportunity comes knocking when his old dance crew (Kings of Tampa) show up in Tampa on their way to a stripper convention. Yes, a stripper convention. He is persuaded to join the crew for one last ride because Mike just can’t resist the chance to strip again.
Magic Mike XXL is not a very funny movie. The part that made Magic Mike enjoyable (yes, I liked the 1st one) was the character Dallas played by Matthew McConaughey. Dallas added spark to a movie that desperately needed it and turned Magic Mike into a fun movie. I can still remember that scene in Magic Mike where they are in a dance studio figuring out there routines and it was those sort of moments that were desperately missing from this movie. To put it simply Matthew McConaughey helped lift the quality of the first movie greatly. Without him this movie lacked magic.
Magic Mike XXL turned one of the most obvious premises in the history of cinema into one of the most confusing ones that I have ever witnessed. Why are ladies going to flock to go see this movie? They are going to see these men get down and dirty in their G- Strings. The script writers for Magic Mike XXL decided to focus on the relationships these men have. Let me speak on behalf of all the women in the world. “No one cares about their relationships they just want to see the men without shirts!” They took a movie that was wildly successful at the box office, making 113 million dollars (according to Box Office Mojo) and changed it. Yep, that makes perfect since to me.
Magic Mike XXL is one of the worst acted movies that has played on the silver screen since Ishtar. The producers decided to change the premise of the movie from a fun movie about a group of guys in the adult entertainment business to a film centering on the interpersonal relationships of the guys in the group. Never mind the obvious flaws, but now you are depending on actors such as – Matt Bomer, Joe Manganiello, Jada Pinkett Smith, Channing Tatum, and Kevin Nash. Only one of those actors has any sort of credibility and the rest are just sad list of choices If you are going to try and make a movie with some depth then you better get great actors, rather than the abhorrent ones that you assembled for this cinematic accident.
Magic Mike XXL will leave you feeling financially violated because of the drastic change in the amount of fun dancing moments that are in this movie. In Magic Mike, you got what you paid for and it left you satisfied. In Magic Mike XXL, the amount actual dancing that you see is cut by about 40% and that’s not why women want to go see this movie. In this day and age of rising ticket prices, don’t be fooled into thinking that you will get the same movie that you got the 1st go around. Magic Mike XXL is a very different movie.
After all of this, I will tell you that I am under no delusion that Magic Mike XXL somehow will not make money at the box office. Some will call this movie review proof, just based on the notion that you might get to see Channing Tatum’s butt. However, I will say that Magic Mike XXL is one of the worst movies that I have seen in 2015. I am hard pressed to think that another movie might with be much worse. It’s an atrocious cinematic accident that is destined to make a ton of money at the box office.
